Flourishing Outside Your Comfort Zone
(One Step at a Time!)
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One step at a time!
A quick note: If you haven’t yet read Sitting Pretty In Your Comfort Zone, I recommend you take a look before reading the following article. ‘Sitting Pretty’ addresses your need to step beyond your comfort zone on a regular basis so your life can continue to evolve. When you find yourself stuck ‘out there’ and overwhelmed, the article below offers a simple technique to restore equilibrium.
Life is predictably unpredictable. One minute, all is calm, all is bright. The next, we are gently bumped (or knocked for a loop!) outside our comfort zones. Whether we land shakily on our feet or are sent sprawling, it’s not a very pretty state to be in. And yet it holds the most potential for positive growth and change for all of us.
Recently, it seems that many of my clients as well as participants in The Three Spheres of Successful Living are on the cusp or deep in the midst of big changes—the “What now?” state. A medical challenge, the sudden sale of a beloved home, the rebuilding of a business or even a wedding—any change whether highly anticipated or completely unexpected—can throw a person out of their comfort zone. And a quick series of major changes can be completely immobilizing!
Life-altering change can be a lot to take in and respond to; our brain-body systems are almost as busy as the day we were born! Everything is new. We are flooded with impressions at such a rate, that we can’t make sense of anything. In a confusing jumble, it’s hard to focus. Our attention is drawn every which-way; and this blur of the unfamiliar can be a bit disorienting and scary to say the least!
Multitasking Brilliance
Ordinarily, when faced with everyday type changes, we can deal. We are designed to be brilliant multitaskers. We can ingest huge amounts of sensory data through our eyes, ears, noses, mouths and skin simultaneously. When we do, our brains almost instantaneously bring coherence to this flood of input, so we can respond appropriately. We know what to do when being approached by a friend with request for assistance. And we know what to do when being approached by a swiftly moving bus!
We can talk and walk at the same time. We can drive toward our destination, paying attention to hundreds of other moving and stationary objects, all at the same time. Some of us can even play the organ, coordinating our hands on the keyboard with our feet on the pedals, while changing stops and turning pages. Now, that’s multitasking at its best.
When Multitasking Goes Awry
We have our limitations. At latest count, our bodies have four extremities, one torso and one head. We can use these components together in service of one activity like playing the organ. But we can’t play the organ and dig a ditch at the same time. We can’t physically do completely different activities at the same time, unless we have mastered the art of bi-location, which most of us haven’t!
At best, we can only say one word at a time. We can’t physically have two coherent conversations at once, any more than a radio can play two channels concurrently. We do happen to be equipped with separate broadcast systems like our voices, our hormones and our body language, which can send conflicting messages. But we don’t have simultaneous and conscious control of them!
We also get into trouble when we divide our attention. So, texting while driving just doesn’t work so well. We need to be present behind the wheel, with all our senses. If we try to combine two or three separate activities, we become clumsy, inefficient and ineffective, even if we would love to believe otherwise!
And finally, when we allow our thoughts to race ahead of activities in the present moment, we can come to a complete standstill. This, by the way, is often called worrying—an activity that’s never been highly rated, for good reasons!
Moving Forward Step-by-Step
What does all this mean in the midst of big change? We are most fully our genius selves—decisive, capable and effective—when attending to one thing at a time in the here and now. Remember the story of the hare and the tortoise? The hare raced around, splitting his attention so that he didn’t notice what was really going on. Our friend, the tortoise kept moving forward, eyes on the goal. Step by step. Success was his.
As infants, we mastered many astounding skills. Two of our most advanced accomplishments were homolateral (one-sided) movement, which gave us the ability to focus on one thing at a time, and cross lateral movement, which made it possible for us to coordinate our senses with movement so we are the aware, walking, talking dynamos we are. Functioning at our best, we easily and frequently alternate between these two states as we go from activity to activity throughout the day.
People faced with life-altering change often find it challenging to competently deal with zillions of tiny details in the midst of a rapidly changing life-scape. Scrambling to keep up, they lose their ability to slow down and look at, think about or do one thing at a time. It is almost as if the nervous system makes a private agreement with the subconscious mind to engage in constant, frantic activity. Not always the best approach.
Restoring Equilibrium
If life has thrown you a curveball and you find yourself out of your comfort zone most of the time, here’s a very simple movement sequence* you can do to break that private nervous system/subconscious mind agreement:
Put iTunes or mp3 player with some hot dance music on standby. You will need it later.
Stand with your arms resting by your sides. Shift your weight over to the left foot. Simultaneously raise your right arm and right leg, with knee bent. Lower your arm and leg to their resting positions. Relax and breathe, with your weight equally on both feet.
Shift your weight over to the right foot. Simultaneously raise your left arm and left leg, with knee bent. Lower your arm and leg to their resting positions. Relax and breathe, with your weight equally on both feet.
Practice this homolateral or one-sided movement sequence a few times, alternating right . . . rest . . . left . . . rest . . . right . . . The rest between sides is the most important part. Give yourself permission to really rest!
Now, each time you move one side, look at some small object in your surroundings. It may be a knot in wood, a light switch, a loose thread or a ladybug. Think about it: its color, shape, texture, where it came from. Take your time . . .
Shift your gaze from this object only after you have considered it full—you are interested in looking at something new and you feel the inner impulse to move again.
Continue this homolateral movement pattern. As you move each side, focusing on a new object, speak one sentence aloud: “I take one step at a time . . . I breathe one breath at a time . . . I think one thought at a time . . . (write one word, tackle one project, have one conversation, etc.)” Again, remember to rest fully between sides.
You will know you have done enough homolateral movement when you are relaxed and breathing freely; you are 100% present; and you have the confidence that you can deal with challenges one step at a time. This is a good place to be!
Turn your dance music on. Shimmy, shake, jive, swing and spin. Celebrate with your whole being! Your body has just remembered something it’s always known how to do. Dancing involves cross lateral movement, which makes this remembering more reliable and solid, so boogie on down!
Are you ready to flourish even when life throws you a curveball? Are you ready (and willing!) to slow down, consider one challenge at a time, make a plan of action and then follow through on your plan? Practice the movement sequence, Restoring Equilibrium, once, twice or even three times a day. With easy repetition your entire brain-body system will relax with the gentle reminder of how true balance feels.
Then, welcome change into your life! Change is good!
*These movements are the foundation for Dennison Laterality Repatterning, a brilliant movement sequence that prepares learners for new learning. Repatterning is a key part of Brain Gym®, developed by educational pioneer Dr. Paul Dennison. If you have taken Brain Gym 101, and are familiar with the repatterning sequence, add the “one thing at a time” phrase as you do Homolateral/Puppet crawl and looking in all directions (from the Learning Menu.) Let me know what you notice! Brain Gym® is a registered trademark of Brain Gym International/Breakthroughs International at www.braingym.org.
Celebrating your flourishing life!
Eliza
Creatives’ Coach Eliza Bergeson is the author of The Yes! in Success: How To Be The Star You Are And Live The Life You Love.
She works her magic with creative individuals—entrepreneurs, speakers, writers, visual and performing artists; people who are ready to transform bright vision into gratifying outcomes in their businesses and their lives. If that sounds like you, visit her site, www.elizabergeson.com, for more FREE success-building resources.
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