Sitting Pretty In Your Comfort Zone
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Imagine a life of ease. Each day pleasantly surrounded by the familiar. No major challenges. Sounds good?
We may try to create this life for ourselves by keeping our work, relationships and interests well within our comfort zone. Those of us suffering from Shrinking Violet Syndrome tend to hide out there! But we do so at a price.
When we hang out with the easy and familiar, avoiding all risk, we never grow. We never expand our horizons.
At the end of our lives, we might find ourselves asking, “Is this all?”
If, however, we consciously step beyond the usual in search of experiences that give us joy, spark our creativity or inspire us, life becomes a rich and rewarding adventure!
Think back to when you were learning to ride a bicycle. Your comfort zone included walking, running and skipping. So, when you got on the bike the first time you may have experienced a high level of excitement or perhaps a bit (or more than a bit!) of anxiety.
Most likely at first you wobbled and took a few spills. But then an astounding thing happened! You figured out how to stay upright and moving forward by pedaling. You learned to choose your direction by turning the handlebars and to stop your headlong flight by firmly putting on the brakes. And eventually you triumphantly rang your bicycle bell!
Now that was BIG! Your comfort zone expanded . . . and so did your world.
When you are experiencing something new, like riding a bike, you are flooded with sensory input from new challenges to your balance, vision, movement. Your brain is racing to code and sequence all of those sensory impressions so you can call on them again in the future. That, by the way, is called learning. There is so much going on at such a rapid rate that your brain can’t calm the jitters too!
Every time you experience something new, when you finally and completely get it, the new learning becomes a part of your comfort zone and the jitters disappear.
If, however, you push yourself beyond the limits of what comes naturally and easily 24/7, you may start to crack at the seams. You weren’t designed to experience continual stress.
So, what is the solution? Daniel H. Pink, author of Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us (Riverhead, 2009) suggests, “We need a place of productive discomfort,” He adds, “If you’re too comfortable, you’re not productive. And if you’re too uncomfortable, you’re not productive. Like Goldilocks, we can’t be too hot or too cold.”
So how exactly can you find a balance between sitting pretty and expanding your horizons? You can get clues from people who live on the cutting edge the possible. Our visionaries—topnotch athletes, artists, performers, writers, scientists, business pioneers—practice productive discomfort daily. They’ve made a habit of envisioning the impossible as completely do-able. And then they do it!
If you are thinking it’s time to move beyond the easy and familiar and beyond Shrinking Violet Syndrome, or you have been driving yourself out into the cold to a degree that you have stressed your entire brain-body system, here’s a great technique to practice productive discomfort a little at a time.
Think of a person you admire, who is living a life you would love to live. Choose a person who embodies qualities that you aspire to have—qualities that seem unattainable from your comfort zone. Choose a person you might feel shy to approach in your everyday life. Someone you would love as a mentor. This person may be a super star in their field of expertise, or they may be living a private and quietly rewarding life. They may be alive now, or no longer living.
Find his or her photo in your archives or download a photo from online. Tape it on a mirror so when you look in the mirror, you are standing shoulder to shoulder with this luminary.
Now, here comes the productive discomfort part. Think of the quality this person embodies that feels like a stretch for you: courage . . . integrity . . . kindness . . . persistence . . .
Try on this quality like you would try on a new skin. Use all your senses to notice changes in your posture, balance, breathing, vision and energy level. At first this process may be quite uncomfortable . . . productively so!
When you ‘act as if,’ your body chemistry changes. New neural connections are made in your brain and body. Most importantly, your subconscious mind begins to entertain the possibility that you can do things differently a bit at a time! Enjoy these small differences! This is how real personal transformation begins!
For sufferers of Shrinking Violet Syndrome this is great news because you can play with new ways of being in the privacy of your home. Without the pressure of interacting with others. In public. The brain likes to change slowly, with steady input and a light, playful, curious attitude. So give yourself the gift of space and time . . . and a bit of fun. If you ever pulled costumes out of a trunk and played dressup as a child, well, it’s like that.
As you stand shoulder to shoulder with your mentor, you can see how powerful it would be to meet with a whole team of mentors . . . daily! The eBook, Your Mirror Mentors: How to Find Confidence, Clarity and Can-do When You Need It Most, has full step-by step instructions for creating your very own team. Click here to purchase your copy and begin your adventures in expanding horizons now!
Celebrating your expanding world!
Eliza
Creatives’ Coach Eliza Bergeson is the author of The Yes! in Success: How To Be The Star You Are And Live The Life You Love.
She works her magic with creative individuals—entrepreneurs, speakers, writers, visual and performing artists; people who are ready to transform bright vision into gratifying outcomes in their businesses and their lives. If that sounds like you, visit her site, www.elizabergeson.com, for more FREE success-building resources.
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